Jesse Gall

Alec Baldwin Flashback: The Edge

In Reviews on June 23, 2011 at 7:44 pm

I find it a personal victory that I can now connect Alec Baldwin, Anthony Hopkins, that guy from Lost, and a man-eating Kodiak bear. It’s great trivia. The movie might have been a waste of time, but the trivia was worth it at least. 1997’s The Edge is one of the most triumphant creature flops you will ever see, but strangely it’s almost fun to watch it fail so miserably.

The staggeringly unoriginal plot goes a little like this. Billionaire (Hopkins) has young wife who cuckholds him with young photographer (Baldwin). The two crash in the Alaskan wilderness and must survive. Giant bear arrives. Hunts. Kills erroneous third character (dude from Lost). Baldwin cries. Hopkins stares off into the distance. Looks crazy. Bear comes back. Hopkins somehow bests a 2 ton bear because he reads a lot.

I’m not joking about any of that. Watching Alec Baldwin play adventure-man in the wilderness is like watching a 16 year-old overweight pug run up a hill. It wheezes and sputters, throwing so much effort into something it is clearly not meant to do. You want to pick it up and carry it up the hill, which is exactly what the other actors do in the film. Even Anthony Hopkins couldn’t save this ridiculous foray, spending the majority of his screen time muttering unintelligibly. His billionaire character is written to be brilliant but reclusive, his nose buried in books constantly absorbing completely arbitrary facts. Not a bad character on paper, but Hopkins goes for “mysterious” by donning a monotone voice and a lifeless face. The only thing mysterious here is how the famed actor could’ve made such a horribly boring choice.

My favorite character? The bear. I mean look at that thing! It’s like all the great directors say, show your monster looking like someone just stole his favorite toy and everyone will love it! Kudos to director Lee Tamahori for having the cajones to attempt a terrifying frown. Not everyday.

Until the end, the Mended Blend

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: