Jesse Gall

Sevierville and the 18th Century: Not Always So Different

In Humor, Local, The South on June 11, 2011 at 11:03 am

There are moments in this strange little city in which I am reminded of a different time. A better time. A time with carriages and oxen and open markets. A time that looked a lot like the game Oregon Trail. Only with less dysentery. The rolling hills dusted with evergreen colors seem wild and untouched, something that could also be said about the people here. Seviervillians are trusting and kind, willing to help at a moment’s notice. What’s wrong with them!?

Everyone is too nice! Too nice I say! I need sirens and hatred, but all I see are smiles and unlocked doors. Canadians keep their doors unlocked! Am I in 18th century Canada?!?! (I imagine 18th century Canada would have been a lot like 18th century America…only less war.)

Where is the anger and the yelling? Where is the disrespect so commonly associated with the American people? Don’t these Seviervillians know anything? I mean, I actually saw an owner to a grocery store barter with a customer for Dollywood tickets. 60 bucks of groceries for three Dollywood tickets. BARTER! What century am I in over here?!

First, I thought only students bartered. Generally, students are the poorest people with the largest amount of random useless stuff. They do a lot of trading. But I have never actually seen someone barter while inside the store that usually only sells for dinero, with customers waiting in line and watching, during business hours! Second, do I really live in a place where Dollywood tickets have a better exchange rate than the actual dollar? I suppose I do. Wow, times is hard people. Times is hard.

I guess I’ll just have to try to cope with all of this niceness. I guess I will just have to smile a little bit myself and try to resist the urge to feel like a better happier person. I can hope, but I already feel my lips begin to curl into a helpful and welcoming smile. Ugh.

Until the end, The Mended Blend

  1. Artists barter… do you think my toenails stay looking so good?

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